saying what you mean…

I was at work having a polite conversation with a co-worker, and at one point they say they dont like men with long hair. Now myself I have long hair, and rather like it that way. Funny thing is Im not really sure why this entered into the conversation. Considering we were talking about the band nine inch nails. You know how when someone says something that they didnt want to or mean to say, and for a split second they sort of have a look of shock in their eyes ? Well that was the look I got after the aforementioned comment. Now I could say well, I dont like dumb sluts. Did I ? no. A few of the other co-workers I have say the same thing, and I wonder, do they think this ? I find people have two faces. One for work, and one for the rest of the world. Whats funny is, ever since I was told that my appearance is displeasing, not a word has been spoken to me. Unless of course its necessary to do so. Sometimes I really wonder what goes on in most peoples minds.

S.

the nature of greed…

I was sitting in the monastery that I goto this morning. We were having a special dharma lecture from our head lama. Of course the three known satanists were all there, pretending to be part of the sangha as usual. Now keep in mind satanists are about three things. Getting everything they can for themselves, evil, and violent force. So why are they in a buddhist monastery ? Good question, as I wonder the same thing. I prefer a unique analogy for the matter. The evil man stands at the shore with his jar of poison and dumps it in to the ocean thinking he can contaminate it all. Truly this is the view of and errand of fools. In a similar fashion I have a co-worker who`s only motivation for work is greed. Yet they refer to themselves as ‘a good christian’. So the view of the two individuals is quite different, yet in essence and motivation they are the same.  The four conditions of impermanence state thus – That which is united is separated, that which is accumulated is consumed, that which rises must fall, and that which is born eventually dies. So as you can plainly see, the true nature of reality is impermanence. Grasping at, and desiring anything is pointless, as it will leave your possession one day. Much like your life.

S.

the zen master and the student…

A guy walks up to a zen master and asks, “Is there life after death?” The zen master says, “How should I know?” The guy replies indignantly “Because your a zen master!” “Yes,” says the zen master, “but not a dead one.”

S.

new music…

There is so much new music just pouring out for the summer. Just silly. I`m seriously going broke here. Such is. Chord have finally released their debut album ‘flora’. Its everything I was expecting.

S.

an offering…

There are about a dozen people in my immediate surroundings of this daily life, that I wanted to make an offering to. I know they wont accept and most surely will reject. The beautiful thing about it is, Im not conditioned by all the social niceties that you and the rest are conditioned and bound by. My offering is thus – Go Fuck Yourselves.

S.

facing in…

And I see it coming around the corner again, and I`m trying to pretend its not really  coming again. I find I can block it out and ignore, the noise of the day is a great distraction. Until again the silence comes. Showing me the inward face, facing in. Seeing all the things I chose not to. Trying not to see again, the same repeating pattern. The veil of illusion is a pleasant path to be lead astray. So unlocking the door, being found again. Inward facing what I despise more than anything else. Myself.

S.

from the upanishads …

We are like spiders.

We weave our life and then move along in it.

We are like the dreamer who dreams and then lives in the dream.

This is true for the entire universe.

S.

H.H. The Dalai Lama …

I don`t know why, everytime I see a picture of  of the current dalai lama, it makes me smile.

S.

podcast deletion …

I deleted the podcast blog auditory dysphoria. My heart was just not in it anymore. I could give a myriad of reasons as to why. The simple answer is, my heart is just not in it anymore, that`s all.

S.

one cannot be partially dead …

You know they all say that if you want to be a writer or whatnot then just write stuff. Don`t worry about whether it`s good or bad, just get it down.

Of course it`s the new year and all that. The new president is going to be sworn in on tuesday. Everyone and their mothers brother will be watching. It`s a pretty big change. A black male president. Impressive, if you ask me. Of course the real question, the one on everyones mind is, what`s he going to do ? I know I would like to know. So far he seems to be a man of conscience. One who will consult his peers and advisors and think about the effects of his decisions. Long and short term. Of course the obvious is that he`s black and if he has a hope or prayer of being re-elected, he has to get it right the first time. Whether you like it or not, this country has a very racist vibe to it, period. The other thing on everyones mind is, what is king george the second going to do ? We all wonder if he has one final card up his sleeve to play out on us. If anyone has ever been hated more it`s king george. I know we are all relieved that he`s done.

I had some other things to say, that I thought were witty and sarcastic, and would be very thought provoking and all. I guess when I thought it over, it just seemed mean spirited and spiteful. So in that sense, what good does it really do ? In a way, yes I want to come across as edgy, and play devils advocate with you. That has been, and always will be my motivation, and drive. I find that too many of us are cruising down the highway of life in our mental coffins. Slowly welding that steel cage around our minds alittle tighter each passing day. So from me, I sincerely wish and hope that the collective unconscious of humanity will wake up alittle bit, and not be partially dead.

S.